Well, hello there! Funny seeing you here. Come on. I won’t bite! Oh, how rude of me not to introduce myself! Hey, I’m Hailey and you are? That’s a lovely name! How nice it is of you to stop by. Now, since you’re here, let me tell you a little about myself. As you know my name is Hailey and I am in the 8th grade. I live in a small community in East Texas with my momma, step dad, sister, brother, and our pets; Martha Rue, pitbull-chihuahua mix, Arushi, a manx cat, and Rhino, my hamster.  Blah, blah, blah. You could care less right? Ok, I’ve got the boring, droning part over so now we can begin. However, before you continue, I must warn you. My opinions are a little out there to put it nicely and I have the attention span of a goldfish(3 seconds).

One thing you should know about me is that I wholeheartedly support Bernie Tiede. For those of you who have no idea who that is click this link: Bernie Tiede. Ok, now you probably think that I’m a psychopath and wondering why you’re still here. Yes, he killed her. No, I do not agree with murder. I do, however, believe that someone doing one bad thing does not make them a bad person. “He only shot her four times. It’s not like it was 5.” If this offends anyone, sorry, not sorry. I warned you. I still believe that he is a good man and many will agree. He built the prayer wing on my hometown church, donated to innumerable charities, and even after he was locked up, held bible studies for the other cell mates. Case closed. You won’t change my opinion. Also, on the lighter side, if you haven’t seen the movie inspired from it check it out: Official Bernie Trailer.

Woah, you’re still here? I admire you for that courage. I normal person would have already left at the mention of murder. So kudos. Another thing you should know is that I have a huge man-crush on Dr. Phil and Kovu, yes from The Lion King 2. You don’t have to lie.  We all know that everyone, at one point in time, had a crush on Kovu. I mean, come on! For the Dr. Phil side, it’s more of a admiration than a crush, but my friends ( all four of them) have taken to calling it that. He is hilarious and I love watching his show everyday. I will fight anyone that says he is not real a doctor. Degree or not.

Yet another interesting thing about me is my taste in music. It’s varied, to say the least. My playlist goes from the Beach Boys, “Wouldn’t it be Nice”; to a dubstep version of “Fur Elise”; to Bowling for Soup’s,”1985” ; to the latest pop song. No Joke. For a little taste of that click each of these: Wouldn’t it be Nice, Fur Elise Dubstep, 1985, Heartbreakers. Now you see what I mean. Crazy, right?

I have an obsession with books. If you ever want to hear someone have a lengthy, very opinionated, discussion (argument) about books, I am just who you’re looking for. Most of my opinions most will find strange…for instance, in one of my favorite book series, Warriors, by Erin Hunter, I hate the protagonist, Firestar. I know all the Warriors fans are falling over dead. What?!? You-you hate the beloved, courageous, outstanding, Firestar?! Yes! I do and I have reasons. Ugh…but if I get into that I’ll be writing for days. As much as I would love to write about ALL of my favorite books, sadly, I can”t. At least, not here. So below is a list of my top favorites. That I could think of anyways. Like I said,goldfish. (not in any specific order)

The Maze Runner

The Giver quartet

The Ghost Files

28 and a half Wishes

After the End

The Light

Lock and Key

The Shack

Gregor the Overlander

TFIOS

Warriors

anything by Eva Ibbotson or Lois Lowry

While we are on this topic, my most hated thing is when an amazing book gets turned into a absolutely horrible movie. For instance, JonasxFiona, are you serious? There is NO romance in The Giver! Sure he has ‘stirrings’, but he doesn’t pursue them. Changing the the story to give actors more screen time is plain wrong. The Maze Runner: WHY did Thomas and Theresa not have their telepathic abilities. Hello! That was a HUGE part of the book! Short rant over.

Since we are on The Maze Runner, you should know that I am a total fangirl. Let’s get this clear at the beginning though; I am speaking of the book.  NOT THE MOVIE. I’m very passionate about this. One time my mom made the mistake of saying it was just like The Hunger Games. I told her to get out of the car because I disown her. If you are thinking, “What!?! You said that to your mom?” Then leave because you are not a TMR fan and you do not deserve to be here. Fandom before family, right? Also, at my school, we are doing a Book Madness thing where you vote on your favorite and TMR made it to the top two. I voted for it 750 times. Anyways, if you haven’t read it, stop what you are doing. Like, seriously, I don’t care what it is; just stop right now and read it. If you have, ASDFGHJKL! *hyperventilates*

I play the bassoon. Not the oboe. Not the bass clarinet. Bas-soon. I’ve played this tug boat since 6th grade and it hasn’t got any lighter. Even though, it’s heavy, no one has any idea what it is therefore the questions are constant, and I almost never have my actual bassoon part (always baritone)…Wait, what was the good part again? No, I’m just kidding! If nothing else, I’m always first chair and…no that’s about it. Haha…not really Mr. Whatley. *awkwardly shuffles away, knocks over three stands, and trips up the band hall stairs*

I believe that I am supposed to be 60 years old. What I mean by that is that I have an old soul. I will sit and crochet for hours upon end and find that enjoyable. I would rather listen to The Beach Boys, Escape and watch I Dream of Jeannie all day then hang out and ‘party’ with my friends. Collecting records is another thing I really like doing. They are just so cool and I’m not sure why, but they just draw me in, beckoning. It’s not even the music really. I mean, I have polka and Hawaiian records. Not exactly my music preference. The sleeves are one thing that I love looking at. One of my favorites was on that looked like an old newspaper but had the names of the song hidden in it.

If Tumblr, YouTube, and Google were school subjects, I’d be valedictorian. I wouldn’t call it a problem…actually, yes, yes I would. It’s weird, the actual, Tumblr app, I hate. However, searching ‘tumblr’ in ifunny is what I usually find myself doing. It has messed up my life in such a good way. Some of the things really make you think, but some make you lose faith in humanity. As for YouTube, my favorite YouTubers are iisuperwomanii (Lily Singh) and Tyler Oakley. They are both hilarious and I will watch any of their videos. Literally, any. The other day I went to the very first of Lily’s daily vlogs and began watching them (there are 175 as of yesterday and are about 7-14 minutes a piece). I watched her eating breakfast and putting

deodorant on..Most are not interesting, they are just her average day, but I still watched them.

One word: COMMITTED. Obsessed…

Of course, that’s not ALL there is to me, but to be honest, this was supposed to be like 8 sentences, not 8 paragraphs. But, you know, overachieving and all. Also, if you got to this part, you deserve applause. You rode this crazy train till the end, so pat yourself on the back. I usually hate writing (or talking) about myself, but this was actually enjoyable. For me anyways. I hope you liked it and if you didn’t well it’s my life not yours. Ouch, that sounded ruder than I expected. *insert apology here*